i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
