if you like me you must not know who I am
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
