im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
