pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
