Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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