yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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