69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
