No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
