Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
