How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
