Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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