Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
