Define "chronic" masturbator.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize