I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
