It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
