Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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