I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
