that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
