yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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