Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
