shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize