So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
