Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
