I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
