is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Mom said you looked used
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
