I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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