Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She said her name was "party"
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Rumble strips road head = magical
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize