If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
