so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
