last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
