i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
