dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
