I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
