i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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