can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
