sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Couch. On fire.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
