I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
