Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
