his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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