He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
