I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
