he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
