no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He better not be in your backpack
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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