ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize