Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
