But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
