I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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