is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
