i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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