I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
