bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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