He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize