So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize