Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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