I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
