I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize