u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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