so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
