sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
