isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
