lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
