Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize