Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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