What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
