There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
